“Society Has Taught Me To Eat You”
I have made a terrible mistake. Just like the Bluth family except more bloody. Although that one time Anne killed herself was probably pretty bloody. No one really noticed though. I’m probably the only person in the world who did. So lonely being me…
But I digress…big time. I’m feeling a bit awkward right now. Like I shouldn’t have done what I just did. Gnawing my teeth into your back doesn’t seem like such a great idea now. Especially after all we’ve been through…
We were the best of pals. Just like Buster and Lucille. Just like the opposite of Buster and that seal. Feel like I metaphorically bit off your hand and forced you to wear a hook for the rest of your life when I chomped on your sweet-tasting back and caused you to die. That wasn’t cool of me.
The best of times were had between us. You would ride on my back and I would smile. We would go to the arcade and try to beat the high score on Pac-Man as if high-scores really meant something. What’s the worth of being able to dodge pixel ghosts when you can’t dodge my hungry hungry mouth?
Were you put on this earth just so my stomach would stop grumbling? Seems pretty grim but that’s what I’ve been taught. The Cat Academy taught me you didn’t have feelings.
So when you told me you loved me was that just a lie?
This is ten times worse than when Arrested Development got cancelled and fifteen times worse than when Party Down got trashed…
I guess it’s true what they say…
“Only the good mice die young…in my mouth.”
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